First real vacation

Wow! It's been a month since the last update... sorry about that folks. Too much work and not enough play. To remedy the situation I'm flying to Bohol this morning for some dives, hikes, etc.

In the mean time, I'm proud to present "Confusing Conversations with a Salesman Part II"

Saleswoman: Sir, Fresh Pearls!
Me: (just looking)
Saleswoman: Highest quality. For you, first buyer, 1000 Pesos.
Me: How many first buyers have you had today?It's almost three.
Saleswoman: You're the first! For your wife? (gestures to my co-worker)
Me: Her? (Looking at co-worker) If I bought pearls for her, my wife would be very upset.

Happy Festivus!

If the letter was your first introduction to this blog: Welcome! (But don't get your hopes up; spelling mistakes and obscure internet references abound making this blog the third least legible page on the net.)
If you've been here before seeing the letter: I apologize for the atrocities to literature you've witnessed in the name of friendship.

The first reports of people receiving my Festivus letter are trickling in. So I figure it must be way past time to have a post in which to comment and vote on my Web 2.0 approach to apartment improvements.

This current stint in the Philippines has sorely lacked in the blog update department. Sorry about that! I've been working way too much and haven't had time to plan any trips. I'm going slightly stir crazy so I'm planning some epic weekend trips. I've got 3 weekends left and each has an alloted excursion. Hopefully I'll have some pictures or stories to upload next week. Until then, Happy (Belated) Festivus!

Massive Update?

This site has become sadly unkempt. For that I apologize.
There really is no way to rectify that so let's just pretend that since the last post:

• I went go carting, racing against my driver who let me win
• Flew back to the states
• Flew to Hawai'i (the Big Island) and went scuba diving etc.
• Flew home then flew back to the Philippines
• During the home stays I saw many friends and had many a good meal
• And most importantly, that I kept you up to date with frequent or even twice daily updates to this site.

That was fun wasn't it? Fantasy living is so much more convenient.

So now I'm back in the Philippines for what I'm told will be the shortest and final trip. (Talk about fantasies!) Before I get into the details of this current trip let me tell you a story:

My flight on Sunday night was scheduled by the companies new travel agent. It was last minute so I called them up 3 days before and asked for a flight leaving SFO on the 12th. She tells me that flight is booked and asks if I want to leave earlier. That is certainly my last consideration, so instead I ask for a flight on Sunday the 13th. She confirms the date and price, I have my boss authorize it, she books the flight and sends me an e-ticket which I print and throw in my bag. I enjoy my long weekend then hit the airport with just enough time to check in, clear security, walk to the gate, and board. (Sadly I have the timing down that well)
It would have all gone smoothly except the lady behind the check in counter tells me she can't find my name on the flight registry. So I show her my e-ticket and read along with her. We realize at about the same time that the e-ticket reads Saturday the 12th in big black letters. Obviously my travel agent decided to do me a favor by squeezing me into the flight I wanted but just forgot to tell me. So there I am, fully confident that I can show up for an international flight some 75 minutes before the departure time, grab my seat just as we taxi out and just cruise over to the Philippines.
She looked at me and thought:

"What an idiot! How can you show up 22.75 hours late to your flight and not know! I hope he doesn't flip out and yell and scream demanding a new flight and a first class upgrade etc"

What runs through my head is:

"Oh crap, I just had the company pay $2400 for a flight I missed, will show up to work in Manila several days late if at all, had my driver circle the Manila airport for hours looking for me, and gave my car and house keys over to someone whose cell number I don't have."

So I was in deep shit. So I laughed, she smiled, and I asked if there was any room on the flight leaving within the hour. At 30000 feet somewhere over the Pacific I realized that life is so much easier when "stress" is measured in MPa (material science) not in blood pressure.

< / zen rant >

Back in the Philippines for 2-3 weeks

Well I'm back. And to honor this momentous occasion, the good people of Manila threw a coup. More specifically, one person decided to throw a coup. Hilariously enough, that same person was on his way to a trial for an attempted coup two years ago. He escaped from the courthouse and re-kindled the spark of his revolution. If that's not enough, he decided to make his stand in a hotel literally across the street from the location of his last coup.
Before everyone starts to worry, it was business as usual the next day in Manila; it takes more than a coup to faze this country. In fact it was business as usual the day of: they didn't even close the street down... taxis and jeepneys were driving past the negotiators and tanks without a care. The only effect I've seen was that the FAA was out en force at SFO manually inspecting every third bag.

The staff house is full so I got moved into a "hotel" which is in fact a fully furnished apartment with bellhops and room service. Sometimes I wonder why I sacrifice so much for so little.
The shadow boxes are nice but I get the feeling the wall needs about 5 more.

Christmas here is still a foreign concept. The only thing that would make the next picture less bizarre would be a foot of snow blanketing everything.

Last minute ramble

(I'm not even going to try to make this post make any sense.)

I'm flying out tonight. And I would like to apologize anyone who I didn't get to see. Sorry!

While here I've added a third item to the "While I'm in the states to-do list". It's a new big project that should be fun for me and anyone who wants to help. Speaking of help... does anyone have a sewing machine I can borrow for a weekend?

Anyone bored at work? Take a few minutes to peruse this amazing list of online movies. (Via Boingboing). There are some really good memories hidden away in those Mb.

Among other news: I present the most epic disk golf picture... ever!
Okay, fine. Maybe not the most epic... but at least it's by far the best that includes me. Thanks to Trudie for the nice snap. (For those that are interested, that's hole 4 on the Golden Gate Course. And I picked up a par after that beautiful drive.)

See you all on the flip side!

Homeward bound

I haven't posted in a long while (it was only 12 days ago but for me it was a life time). I've been running longer than 12 hour shifts at work and it's devouring my soul. I'm also having trouble counting the days; I feel as if there are four extra days between Monday and Tuesday and I've managed to get stuck in limbo between.

Speaking of a day that refuses to arrive: I should be on a flight home on Saturday!
The trip home will be more than a little bitter sweet but I'll get over it by sleeping the entire trip. At times I feel as if I've missed several years of events back home. Other times it feels as if the Bay Area just jumped from late Summer to Winter between the space of a blink.
I've forgotten what my apartment looks like, the way to work, what it's like to drive or bike or do your own laundry. I've forgotten what a jacket feels like or what it's like to own more than 7 shirts. I've forgotten what it's like to stay up past ten (while not at work) and to sleep in past eight. I've forgotten what unfriendly people are like to deal with. I've forgotten what you talk about on the phone with friends.
You may not believe me but trust me, the culture shock will definitely involve a downed power line and a bucket of salt water. I can only expect that it won't be boring!

Now for the bad news:
No one here is very concerned about me going home because all they want to know is when I will be coming back.
I can only guarantee that I will be in the states up until the 25th. Past that my schedule is up to the whim of the man. I do not have a plane ticket back to Manila so I can't give an exact time for my stay.
Damnit I want to see you all! So if you have a free day let me know and I will be sure to visit. I don't care if I run myself ragged driving across the Bay Area all week; I'll have time to sleep on the plane.


Hope to see you all soon!

I Survived Thailand!

Just got back to "normal" conditions. And can't wait to go back to Thailand!

(As a warning: the following post might be a bit long... if I get a single "TLDR" in the comments, I'm banning Yoshi's IP)

When I first landed, the first thing I saw was "Long Live the King". I chuckled a bit until I saw the next twenty identical signs plastered on every available vertical surface. I made a mental note to stop laughing out loud or my vacation would end in a pleasant Thai prison cell. I'd like to apologize to all me (millions) of Thai readers for that last paragraph because they can no longer read this blog as this site is now banned in Thailand.

From the airport I grabbed a bus heading into the deep north east section of Thailand called Issan. I couldn't believe my luck: I found the reason I traveled to Thailand! On the side of the road, not 5 miles out of Bangkok, I saw an elephant making a feast out of a fruit stand and the rider was leaning down to pay for what disappeared. And then a minute later I saw a "tiny" baby elephant (and by "tiny" i mean: "only slightly taller than the person holding the lead"). Those two vignettes were exactly what I was looking for in Thailand (even if they did flash by at 80 kph). Not the white beeches, blue seas, and the beautiful women asking if I'd like some "service".

The north east of Thailand (or the portion of what I saw) is part of the poorest parts of the nation, but even still it seems to be better than parts of the Philippines I've seen. The surrounding country-side is as spectacular as it is peculiar: perfectly cone-shaped hills covered in lush and dense jungle flora. Between the cones the land is fairly flat but still retains the dense canopy above.

I got off the bus in Pak Chong (a tiny town that is known as the cowboy center of Thailand) and grabbed the equivelent of a taxi. Basically it was a scooter that was owned by the husband of only English speaker in town. He made up a price and I agreed that it sounded fair even though neither he nor I had ever been to our destination. Don't tell my mother but he didn't wear a helmet and I certainly wasn't offered one. Driving down the wrong side of the road at 80 kph with no helmet and in the dead of night around banked turns on a dead highway was exhilarating. But so are most stupid things. Several wrong turns later we got to the Suk Phu Duen hotel.

The Suk Phu Dues resort, it turns out, is primarily a business retreat for seminars, team building, corporate parties, and plenty of other justifiable reasons for the use of cyanide pills. Because I was far from their typical clientele, the staff had no idea what to do with me. They spoke about as much English as I spoke Thai, which is to say (very embarrassingly) none. What the hell do you do with a single white vegetarian guy traveling alone? It looked as if I went looking for a sexy tourism trip and ended with the corporate drudgery instead. The first day I ordered room service for lunch but they couldn't understand the order. So they sent up a server with the menu. I pointed but he still looked confused (because there was no meat in the selection). The next day I asked that they send up the menu again (with the same amount of confusion) but instead they decided to skip the difficulties, fabricated my order, and sent that up. Needless to say it was perfect American lunch: tuna fish sandwich with potato chips and a large bowl of ketchup and therefore not what I was looking for. At least it was entertaining (I'm still trying to come up with purpose for the ketchup).

The resort itself is absolutely beautiful and within spitting distance of the Khao Yai World Heritage Land Park (now do you know why I went?). On site they had a pool, hot tub, sauna, massage parlor, karoke bar, snooker room, horse stable, rabbit hutch (with several hundred rabbits none of which were on the menu), peacocks, and not to mention amazing landscaping.

I tried to explore the Khao Yai Park as much as possible without a car to see the most distant sections. The high season is just starting so I had a majority of the park all to myself, for better or worse. The paths were not labeled but their intersections were named so you could devise your own hike by linking the instersections. The first sign said "Spotted Dear junction" which are the reason the park became a World Heritage Site. The second sign read "Elephant junction" which excited me to no end. The third was simply named "Tiger junction". After this point I was seriously debating the various tiger repellents: The Gods Must be Crazy, Calvin and Hobbes, and the Teddy Roosevelt methods were all top contenders. At one point a motor bike started off in the distance and I quickly learned just how fitting the "growl" of an engine is; my heart was racing when that ranger pulled into view. In the end I left with mixed feelings over the lack of fauna sitings but the waterfalls and the terrain more than made up for it all.

Besides the geography, flora and fauna (imagined or not) Issan is also known for it's incredibly spicy food (even according to native Thai). Now this again falls under things I knew at one point only on an academic level. I ordered a red curry (still not sure if the Thai food follows the standard color coding) and after one bite I kinda died; I wiped my lips and the napkin left a bit charred. I haven't tasted much since but it was still the best food I've had in a long time.

The trip back matched the trip in: except I was in the back of a pickup, a bus, 2 taxis, and a clown car to get to the plane. Another thing to not mention to my mom: I had to hitch that ride in the pickup.

Long story short (too late), I had my share of fun and now I have two long weeks of work ahead of me so I can get back in time for Thanksgiving!

Thailand?

Wow... it's been three weeks since the last post. I've been terribly busy at work and I kinda withdrew into that. (The plan was to work my ass off hoping to get home early. It didn't work.)

The truth is that I didn't really have much to talk about. But soon I will. This afternoon I'm flying to Thailand for the long holiday weekend. In the Philippines they have All Saints Day and All Souls Day off, so I'm escaping the country as well.

I don't really have a plan ironed out yet. So far all I know is that I'll be flying in and out of Bangkok, I have $300 in dollars and maybe a hotel reservation. Should be interesting!

My camera has been on the fritz recently so I apologize in advanced if I can't grab any pictures.

See you all on the flip side!

(By the way, my new flight back state side is on Nov 17th. I'll be pushing hard to actually be on this flight.)

Confusing Discussion with a Salesman

Salesman: Sir, pool cues?
Me: No thanks.
S: Very good price, only 25.
M: No thanks.
S: It has mother of pearl. Inlaid. (Shows a cue)
M: It looks like snake skin...
S: No, no that's mother of pearl. This one has snakes skin. (Shows second cue)
M: That one looks like mother of pearl.
S: You want?
M: How much?
S: Only 25. Good price.
M: 25 pesos? Or dollars...?
S: No, no 25 hundred pesos.
M: Oh, no thanks.
S: For your mama?
M: No my mom is a degenerate gambler. I can't give her a pool cue.
S: Good price! (Shows string of pearls)
M: Oh! The pearls are for my mother? No thanks.
S: Watches? (Shows a box of Rolexs)
M: No I'm wearing one. (Shows him my watch)
S: For your wife?
M: First of all, that's a mans watch. And I'm not married.
S: You enjoying being single?
M: (Runs away before I learn what he'll try to sell me next.)

When are you coming home

What's the pool at? Two or three hundred? Whoever wins owes me dinner and I promise to order something more than soup.

Here is the newest graph on the same axis as before.
It's getting a little crammed on the right hand side of the graph so I extended the axis from 100 days in Manila out to 150 days.
Hilarious story about that "Visa" line. I sent an email to my boss concerning my expiring visa and the delays in the project. I also presented my case for a quick, cheap and easy way to renew the visa (ie. a trip to "some nearby country"). Oh and by the way, can the company pay for the flight? The very next day I get a CC email asking to hook me up with a three month work permit. Two days later my passport is whisked away to get the official stamp. Mind you, this is the same boss who takes two to three weeks to approve my time sheets. In addition, I got a friendly reminder that if I'm here for more than six months, I have to pay taxes here. Sometimes all it takes is that extra shot of morbid humor to keep me laughing.

The graph does not include the fact that I will have a plane flight home for Thanksgiving. (Couldn't figure out the Maxwell-Boltzmann equation that takes holidays into account.)